SlideBook - 2007
From the critics
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Lucky she wasn’t Pinnochio or her nose’d be blowing a hole through the door, past the elevators, out the damn building and shit.
She asked, “Did you give him back?” He seemed stunned, said, “Are you stone mad? It’s not like a pair of jeans that didn’t fit, I couldn’t return him. I didn’t, like, keep the receipt. Oh, and here’s the worst part.”
“We’re gonna be dealing with some heavy dudes here, son. They see that book (Bible), they’re gonna think you got a concealed gun in there.” Kyle said, “The Lord is my weapon.” Max, sick of the whole conversation, went, “The Lord better be packing, then.”
Entire book is laced end to end with profanity. Here is a few PG-13 quotes:
“Truth is, I’ve got some dealing experience myself. In seventh grade, I dealt weed, shrooms, and speed. How do you think I got to be such a respected businessman? The drug business is just like any other business. You have a product, you have a customer, and you have margins. I was growing the shit in my closet. Had a tree up to the ceiling, and got some serious bud off it. So you don’t have to beat around the bush with me, kid—no pun intended.”
On the stage, a middle aged woman, looking like a very poor man’s Desperate Housewife, was massacring “I Will Survive.” Angela shouted at the stage, “Not if you don’t stop that singing, you won’t!”
It was freaking un-American not to have some issues. Dr. Phil built a career on it, for chrissakes.
His dream was to live in the Big Apple. Yeah, he actually called it that. His vocabulary was a blend of John Wayne, The Sopranos and De Niro. He was twelve when he discovered his talent for murder
His backyard was like downtown Baghdad—start digging, you were likely to hit bone somewhere. No one amused him like his own self and once, when his shovel clanked against an old victim, he muttered, Boner.
After a string of bad jobs in America she’d had it with working. Besides, the demand for office assistants who typed twenty words a minute wasn’t exactly staggering. A man had always been her first step to money, to getting on track. Get a guy, get centered was her motto.
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